I am ruthlessly competitive. Growing up I was taught by my father that if you came second you were a loser. Didn’t matter if you tried your best, it was a victory or nothing that was sought. I once pretended to trip and fall in a race just as my legs were giving out so as I would have an excuse that I didn’t win. Eventually, if you are smart the easiest way to never lose is not to play at all. There you go my Ego is now protected from being a loser, yeh!

Eventually, I found a better way, a different type of game to play. A way that made it more enjoyable, but always gave me growth, satisfaction and happiness (oh and I get to win a hell of a lot too.)

 

Before I get to it there is an idea put forth by the coach of Conor McGregor (John

Kavanagh). He calls it “Win or Learn” As much as it is a step up from Win/Lose thinking it’s still wrong!

 

The Best Strategy For Long Term Success Is To PLAY TO LEARN.

 

This idea is for all of us who get run over by hurdles, who hate to fail, who are terrible losers (show me a good loser and I will show you a loser).

 

By the time you finish reading this, you will be able to exercise your competitive muscles by being a hyper-competitive learner.

I have used this process in countless areas, from hitting sales targets to improving at chess. The idea is pretty much universal. So why is playing to learn better than the alternatives?

 

Reason #1 – By Playing To Learn YOU WIN EVERY TIME YOU PLAY

  • If you go into a competitive environment with the idea that you are going to learn something by analysing how you play. You always leave the field of battle with what you came to gain. That is to say Insight. Insight into what you did well, what you didn’t do so well and what needs to improve. You Gain new data points and new perspectives, which is a victory!

Reason #2 You Consistently Grow

  • If you go through that feedback questioning you usually start to see these mistakes, and as you learn you improve. This process creates a positive feedback loop for improvement. Growth becomes inevitable.

Reason #3 You Never Lose

  • Because you are “Outcome Independent” you are playing an infinite not a finite game. The game does not matter in the moment because learning can be a game you play forever. A game that goes on forever by its nature has no result. Therefore, it can never be lost. So, you never lose. You play, You learn, You Play You Learn the cycle repeats, but the learning spiral takes you ever further upwards, and puts the child-like wonder back into all the games you play.

 

I will talk a lot more about finite and infinite games in the coming articles but for now, take away this.

When you Play To Learn you always gain something positive no matter what happens and that there in reality is a Victory!