Someone once said to me that you can ask me to do something but you can’t tell me to do something. So when I am told I have to do something there is a cog in the back of my mind that locks into place and says nope! The funny thing is often I am the one who makes this cog freeze. I tell myself I have to do something. and my anti-have-to mechanism kicks into place.

This isn’t ideal you can imagine. This slows me down when I am meant to be speeding up. Fortunately, I have come up with a quick hack to get me past it.

So if you have a stubborn streak like me maybe this will work for you.

 

Oh and maybe by the time you finish reading this that cog that slows us all down from time to time will get loosened up with a little mental grease.

Another thing I should mention is that this pretty much works in any situation it is not quite a panacea to all ills but it comes close.

 

Anyway, here is the secret sauce. Every time I have to do something by being told or telling myself. When I feel my hackles rising. I change the sentence in my head from “Have to” to “Get To”.

 

Ok, I know it is not exactly mindblowing on paper, but in practice, it has neutron bombs worth of power. Let me tell you why…

 

It turns something forced into something being desired.

  • You have to put the rubbish out (no I don’t, I am busy). Turns into I Get to put the rubbish out (lucky me)

Tough tasks become adventures.

  • Have-to’s are hard they sound hard they sound like you wouldn’t want to do them. Get to’s sound like a mini-adventure. Anything you get to do sounds like fun. It sounds like something you would pay to do not have to be paid to do it.

It removes the “huffiness” from your mind.

  • When we are corralled into doing things we don’t want to do part of our ego resents it. It makes us worse in the moment, and if you are anything like me you pull either internally or externally your huffiness face. “Get-to”, gets rid of that in a jiffy.

 

This idea works as I have mentioned in countless situations where you think you are being forced. I am sure you have at least a dozen that instantly come to mind. So try this on go through your list and change the wording in your mind. I have to become, I get to. Does that thing you have to do sit a little easier? I bet it does. One other thing, if you had any movement with this just with that quick experiment, trust me when I say it gets even better with practice. Enjoy!